Signs you’re becoming a pushy parent

• When another child comes for a playdate, you sneak a look inside his/her book bag to find out what level of reading book they’re on. Only to discover that they’re reading, ‘The Norse Myths: Signs and Symbolism.’ Roll your eyes and tut a lot at bedtime as your own child struggles through ‘Biff’s Red Cat.’
• When your five-year-old picks up an interesting stone during a walk in the woods, you seize on it as an opportunity to explain all about flint knapping during the Mesolithic period, a lecture that lasts for around 25 minutes or until blood starts pouring from your child’s ears.
• When it’s your child’s turn to have Touring Ted, the class bear, for the weekend, you abandon your plans to visit Tile Warehouse and go all-out to show Ted the best time ever. And then you stay up until 11.45pm on Sunday to glue pictures of Ted riding a jetski into Ted’s ‘Book of Adventures’ while muttering, ‘Top that if you can, class 3. You’re going to have to take Ted to Narnia and ride a fucking griffin,’ and pressing so hard with the Pritt Stick that you nearly break your own fingers.