Tag Archives: crap at art

The Gallery of Unfortunate Art

‘That Which Is Whispered Can Never Be Heard’ by Mae Not Waving. Sellotape on cardboard, 2010. £700.

A recent graduate of Mrs Davison’s reception class, Mae Not Waving specialises in monolithic, slab-like structures that are difficult to carry home. Her huge cereal boxes, with toilet-roll tubes and yogurt pots stuck on with way too much masking tape, symbolise the pointlessness of junk modelling when one would rather be playing in the Wendy house. ‘It’s a squirrel,’ she has said of her latest work. ‘Look, that bit’s its head and that’s its tail. Are you blind?’

‘Yeah, that’ll do. Whatever’ by Charlie Not Waving. Paper on card, 2008. £450

One of the Young Turks of the ‘Art Averse’ scene, Charlie Not Waving burst into our collective consciousness in 2006 with the taboo-breaking ‘Potato Print That Looks Like A Pair of Tits’. Since then he has continued to push artistic boundaries, with crude cartoons of flesh-eating zombies, and teachers sitting on toilets. The festive centrepiece from his ‘Can I Play on the Wii now?’ collection of two years ago, ‘Yeah, that’ll do…’ is perhaps best summed up in the artist’s own words: ‘Art & craft is for gaylords.’

‘Kangaroo Flange’ by Not Waving But Ironing. Karate badge on cotton, 2010. £1,400.

A simple scarlet and white karate badge is given a haunting quality thanks to an accompanying aural soundtrack, which repeats, ‘I don’t believe it, it’s happened again! The bloody thread has got caught up in itself. Now I’ve got to start over. I hate sewing. Sod it! SOD IT!’.

‘I wanted to reach out to other mothers with piss-poor fine-motor skills,’ Not Waving But Ironing says. ‘Each knot represents a five-point increase in my blood pressure.’ The artist is currently on secondment to the Victoria & Albert Museum, working on the restoration of their 15th-century Persian textiles.

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