Tag Archives: school

Well, that taught me a lesson

Tried to justify my existence today by going in to school to ‘help out’ in my daughter’s year 1 class. I don’t think I’ll be doing it again. I was put in charge of a group of eight kids, who were meant to be rolling two dice [sic] and adding up the numbers. Quite naturally, some of them didn’t think this was as much fun as jabbing each other in the face with marker pens. Others wanted to tell me all about their new rabbit/bike/stepdad, while the rest were piping up with various grievances (‘I hurt my elbow!’ ‘I’m thirsty!’). I sort of flapped around, bleating ineffectually, ‘Nine plus four? Nine plus four? Does ANYBODY know?’
Thankfully, it means I’ve put my fantasy of becoming a teacher into cold storage. It wouldn’t be about looking like Michelle Pfeiffer, and reaching out to ‘problem’ kids through a mutual love of street dance. It would be wresting marker pens from the grip of five-year-old boys who are using them to draw stripes on their eyelids.

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