Tag Archives: Bear Grylls

The Prince and the Pea

Talking, as I was the other day, about ‘SAS: Are You Tough Enough?’, the answer in my son’s case is a definitive ‘No.’ It was frosty this morning, and on the way to school we had to stop for five minutes because ‘the steam [aka, his breath] is getting into my eyes and irritating them.’ Poor boy, his short life has been marred by physical discomforts. The bathwater ‘burns’ him, scarves chafe his neck like sandpaper, and when I cut his toenails you’d think that I was circumcising him. His teacher once told me with a smirk that she’d had to take him inside at playtime because he was affected by smoke from a bonfire HALF A MILE AWAY .
It’s my fault, of course. I’m definitely a carrier of the wimp gene, and now my children have both inherited it. ‘Mummy, Mummy, watch this!’ other kids in the park shout as they perform wheelies on their bikes/do perfect handstands/climb a tree using only their teeth. ‘Mummy, Mummy, watch this!’ my kids shout, as they lift an acorn above their head/jump over a leaf. Put it this way, I don’t think Bear Grylls has anything to worry about.

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