Am I a BOB (bitter old bag)?

It’s been a while since my last blog post, but I’ve been in a coma, which I fell into on Christmas Day while reading the instructions for the Disney Fairies Tinkerbell Magical Flower Garden board game. I rallied briefly on Boxing Day, but unfortunately my daughter insisted on trying to play her new Disney Princess Spinning Wishes game, and I had a relapse.
Anyway, I hope everyone had a great Christmas. We drove up to see my husband’s sister, where I spent my time coughing up bile, induced by my 15-year-old niece-in-law’s wonderful life. Not only is she clever, and very pretty, but her social life is fantastic – there are endless sleepovers and parties, for which her mum buys her alcohol, and camping out (with boys as well as girls) during the summer. I had a kneejerk ‘tsk’ of disapproval to that last one until I recognised it for what it was – pure, undiluted jealously of the 1969 vintage. At my niece’s age my social life involved hanging out at female friends’ houses; a typical evening’s entertainment involved putting on a Safeway carrier bag as a skirt, and trying to burst out of it without touching it with your hands before Jimi Hendrix’s ‘Foxy Lady’ finished playing. That’s how exciting my home town – let’s call it Shitewich – was. And even if there were occasional parties and ‘dates’ with 16-year-olds with bum-fluff moustaches, I made it bearable for my ageing female relatives by throwing in a huge dose of self-doubt and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Which my beautiful niece and her lovely friends seem mercifully to have escaped. And that really is a wonderful thing [sound of typewriter keys being punched so hard they come out the other side of the desk].

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Am I a BOB (bitter old bag)?

  1. Ah….lovely to have you back, you miserable COW (crabby old witch?). Just made that one up.
    Your teenage years sound delightful and prepared you fully for proper life: unlike your poor niece and her mates who will soon discover it’s not all sleepovers and free booze.
    Showing your age, dear, talking about typewriters…. poor old soul 🙂

    • notwavingbutironing

      Ah, well spotted. Didn’t even realise I’d done that. Very worrying. I’ll be leaving the gas on next….

  2. Pah. Young people.

    If it makes you feel any better, that Safeway carrier story was 100,000,000,000 better than anything I did at 16.

  3. Yeah but you’re glad your teenage years are over and she’ll yearn for them until the day they slip from her mind… bugger I’m bitterer. I’m off for a cider and blackcurrant…

    • notwavingbutironing

      You’ll be drinking it through a straw, I trust, so you can get pissed quicker (and more cheaply). Ah, teenage memories…

  4. Oh, no, I can’t stand it. You’re too, too funny. Already hooked, but since I found you chez Els what else could I expect — that sort of rhymes (?)

    Last year I earned $900 and I still haven’t been paid. Plus $900 is worth about $450 to me in real money, i.e. Euros.

    No, really, it’s much more fun writing every day with no editors, questions or interruptions (except from family members and animals who want food) for no pay. I need a sign that says “I work for no pay.”

    Why don’t you have a followers thingie?

    Best regards,
    Tish

  5. notwavingbutironing

    Yes, this not-working-from-home thing is much more enjoyable than actually earning money. I try to recreate the office experience, though, by slagging myself off beside the water cooler (well, the kettle, actually), and backstabbing/undermining myself on a regular basis.
    BTW, I can’t ‘get to you’ through your link. I’ll try you through ELS. Thanks for reading this nonsense.

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